


The Church Doesn't Teach Sex Ed, But Sylvain Sure Does

by Lyricanna



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Arranged Marriage, Awkward First Time, Ferdinand just wants to have a good wedding night, First Times, M/M, Sex, Sylvain and Ferdinand are just friends here, kink meme fill, mlm, no beta we die like Glenn, sex ed with sylvain, virgin Ferdie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-01
Updated: 2020-08-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:00:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25658620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lyricanna/pseuds/Lyricanna
Summary: Prompt: Pre-ts Ferdinand has an arranged marriage to Hubert and that’s A-OK by him since he’s been crushing on the mage pretty severely. HOWEVER there is one problem: Ferdie is a virgin and has no idea how to please his husband on their wedding night. He really doesn’t want their first time to be a flop (literally!) and so goes to his friend and fellow horse boy Sylvain with a request: please oh please teach him how to not be terrible in bed.Sylvain obliges.FE3H kink meme fill.
Relationships: Ferdinand von Aegir/Hubert von Vestra, Ferdinand+Sylvain
Comments: 4
Kudos: 66





	The Church Doesn't Teach Sex Ed, But Sylvain Sure Does

**Author's Note:**

> I couldn't resist this prompt on the kink meme. I like the idea of Ferdie who legally cannot say dirty words like "sex" having to have this conversation because he hates failure (and is secretly curious). I am so out of practice writing smut, please forgive me ^^;

Sylvain was just coming out of his room when Ferdinand almost crashed into him. Ferdinand was a morning person and Sylvain was not – at least not when he was hungover. While he was not quite Manuela levels of hungover, he knew that he needed breakfast or else he would be miserable for the rest of the day.

“We need to talk,” Ferdinand said quickly and almost shoved Sylvain back into his room. Sylvain was still processing those words – did he hit on Ferdinand last night? Had he offended the uptight noble in some way? – as Ferdinand closed the door and plopped down into Sylvain's chair as if he had a perfect right to do so.

“About?” Sylvain asked as he sat himself back down on the bed.

“Remember how I covered for you the other night, when you were coming back from one of your... ah, dates?” Ferdinand asked primly.

“Yes.” Sylvain replied tersely. He wished that Ferdinand would just get to the point already so he could go eat some ham and eggs before the headache got worse.

“I need to call in a favour.”

Sylvain blinked in response. It was probably going to be something formal and tedious, knowing Ferdinand. Probably something about a point of law or border histories or trade agreements. It's not like Ferdinand would come to him for help with girls, although the noblest noble certainly needed help in _that_ department. He never even noticed when he offended a lady until she was out of the room.

“Can we talk about it over breakfast?”

“I'd rather talk here, if that's okay.” Ferdinand shifted awkwardly as a faint flush spread across his cheeks. Sylvain had to admit that his interest was piqued.

“Oh?”

“I'm... I'm engaged.”

“Congratulations! Who is the lucky lady?” Sylvain asked.

“Well. Um. That is... There isn't a lady,” Ferdinand mumbled. “It's an arranged marriage. You see my father wants to strengthen ties to another leading house, even though that house has a male heir and no crest. I suppose the lack of crest doesn't matter as we won't be able to... Well that's neither here nor there.”

Sylvain did his best to hold back a laugh. This was perhaps the funniest thing he had ever heard. Ferdinand had more young ladies admiring him than Sylvain had cared to count and his father decided to give his son to a man. Wait, did Ferdinand even like men like that?

“So who is it?” Sylvain asked instead.

“It's...” Ferdinand stopped and took a breath. He looked over his shoulder to make sure that the door was indeed closed. He lowered his voice anyway. “It's Hubert.”

“As in von Vestra? As in from your house? As in collects poison things for fun and probably jacks it to Edel-”

Ferdinand whipped a fallen pillow at Sylvain to shut him up. “Yes,” he hissed. “That Hubert.”

“My condolences. But what does that have to do with me?” Sylvain asked.

“Don't speak of my fiance like that,” Ferdinand huffed. He sounded almost protective of the walking corpse.

“Wait you have a thing for Hubert?”

“He's quite handsome thank you. And very capable, intelligent and – stop laughing at me!”

“Okay, okay!” Sylvain wiped his eyes and put on his most serious face, the one reserved for when Ingrid was about to punch him. “What do you need from me then?”

“I... well I've already humiliated myself enough, I may as well just say it. I'm a virgin. I don't know if Hubert... well, regardless. I want to be able to please him on the wedding night. And given that you have a reputation for being the most, er, experienced, I was hoping that you'd teach me about... well _you know_.”

The mental image of a naked, sexually active Hubert did nothing for Sylvain's stomach, so he tried to focus on literally anything else while he thought about his answer. This could be the funniest thing he could ever do as a favour or it could be the most uncomfortable. It certainly was more interesting than what he had expected. Maybe he could convince Hubert that he owed him a favour after all of this.

“Can I get breakfast first?” Sylvain asked.

“Of course! I'm so sorry to have inconvenienced you, I just couldn't wait or else I would have talked myself out of it.”

“It's fine. So you just want me to teach you, you don't want me to help you gain any experience?”

“Just teaching! It would be completely inappropriate for me to be with someone else now that I am engaged,” Ferdinand exclaimed.

Sylvain thought this entire conversation would have fallen under Ferdinand's definition of inappropriate and yet, here they were.

“I'll see you tonight then,” Sylvain replied.

\---------------------------------------------------

Ferdinand was nothing if not punctual, even if it was for perhaps the weirdest lesson he had ever arranged. But he was, after all, a man of duty and he would do what he could to do his duty well. And it had nothing to do with his developing interest in such a taboo topic.

Sylvain let him into his room and Ferdinand sincerely hoped that he wasn't about to back out. If he did, Ferdinand wasn't sure who else he could ask. Lorenz was nowhere near as experienced as he pretended and Yuri would have the whole academy talking about it inside the hour. Asking any of the women would probably kill him from the humiliation alone.

He settled himself on Sylvain's chair and Sylvain stood near the bed, looking serious. _Serious is good_ , Ferdinand thought.

“Okay so,” Sylvain began, running a hand through his hair. “What do you know about sex?” Ferdinand felt himself flush as he tried not to flinch at the word. He was here to learn and be open to new things, after all.

“I know enough about how men and women are supposed to, er, copulate. It seems pretty basic. It's two men that has me mystified,” he confessed. He was not going to add that most of his education regarding sex had to do with breeding horses – he had to know that a thing was being done right, especially with that sort of money involved – and what he had gathered from human anatomy texts that he had snuck a peak at in the library.

“Okaaaaay,” Sylvain replied. It was obvious that he wasn't buying it but Ferdinand stood – or rather sat – his ground. “So you know the anatomy, at least. And you don't know if Hubert is a virgin or not. That might be something that you want to look into, since it might help you figure out what he expects of you.” Sylvain took a deep breath and brought out his most charming, reassuring smile. “Let's start with you then. How do you pleasure yourself?”

“I fail to see how that's important,” Ferdinand replied.

“I need to know what skills you have in your repertoire so that I know what I need to teach you. Am I starting from scratch? Do you even touch yourself?”

“I try not to,” Ferdinand hedged.

“Show me how,” Sylvain replied as he plopped down on his bed.

“In front of you?” Ferdinand almost shrieked.

“St. Macuil's tits,” Sylvain muttered. He walked over to his desk and picked up a wooden tube that was used to protect letters from the weather. “Show me using this,” he continued, tossing the tube to Ferdinand, who caught it quickly. “And tell me what steps you take.”

“I... alright. I just sort of...” Ferdinand's voice trailed off awkwardly. He started to move one hand along the tube and Sylvain immediately shook his head.

“Do you use any oils or lotions?”

“No? Wouldn't that sting?”

“I'll get you what you need to erm, practice. Another time,” Sylvain promised. “To avoid any chaffing or injuries, you're going to want to oil up first. When you start stroking, go slow and focus on what feels good. Twist your hand, change pressure and speed occasionally, and remember that the head is very sensitive, especially the slit. You don't want to overstimulate yourself and finish too quickly. No one is impressed by a two-pump chump.”

Ferdinand nodded and promptly demonstrated what Sylvain had said with the wooden tube in his hand. After a few corrections, Ferdinand was happy to receive an approving nod.

“Do you have any idea what Hubert expects from you in regards to position, or foreplay or..?”

Ferdinand shook his head.

“Okay so that's more research to be done. How about this? What do you expect? Are you expecting penetrative sex, or something strictly external?” Sylvain asked a little too innocently. _He's enjoying my humiliation_ , Ferdinand thought.

“How would penetrative even work, since I don't have, well I mean, I am a man,” Ferdinand inquired with a furrowed brow.

“Well, you have your mouth which is great for foreplay. Or some quick action. You also have your ass. Sorry, no polite way to word that one,” Sylvain explained. “Or his ass if you expect to be in charge. How do you picture this happening?”

Ferdinand opened his mouth to respond and closed it again sharply. A part of him expected Hubert to be in charge, yet he didn't know why. He rarely yielded to the dark haired man when they had a debate. He certainly didn't like it when Hubert told him what to do or how to do things. But still, he always imagined Hubert taking control of him, kissing him with force and desire. Cornering him in some dark hallway, no longer able to keep his icey composure, one hand pinning Ferdinand to the wall, another holding a dagger, popping the buttons of his blazer open, touching bare skin... He shook his head violently.

“I... I want him to want me. To lead the way. I cannot fill in the blanks very well on my own.”

“Alright. So if the idea of penetration freaks you out, you can always use your mouth and suck him off as I mentioned. Or you can slather your inner thighs with oil and let him fu- um, ride your thighs.”

“How would he even get inside me the other way?”

“Lots of oil and some patience,” Sylvain replied. “You would start by oiling up your hands and your ass, and gently inserting one finger. On the wedding night, I guess Hubert would do that but I really think you want to practice this one beforehand. That way you can get used to being stretched out, and find the spot inside you that feels the best to have touched. You'll move that first finger around, trying to stretch yourself until you can add another. You'll want to go slowly; you don't want to hurt yourself.

“Once you have two in comfortably, you can work on opening yourself up more, by doing this.” Sylvain made a scissor motion with his fingers and smirked at Ferdinand's embarrassed yet eager to learn expression. “If you need more oil, more is always better than not enough, so use it. Depending on how gifted Hubert is, you might need to add another finger or two to get the right approximation of size before you consummate the marriage. I know it sounds weird, but it actually does feel good for both the guy giving and the guy receiving.”

Ferdinand nodded, trying to envision what that would be like. It sounded strange but...

“Wait who have you done that with?!” Ferdinand demanded.

“A gentleman doesn't kiss and tell, you should know that,” Sylvain replied with a playful wink. “Oh and I guess we kind of got ahead of ourselves because foreplay is important too. Kissing him on the lips, the neck, the nipples should be easy ways to get him going. You can try a little biting too. I would place money on Hubert being into pain.”

Ferdinand nodded again, finding it easy to imagine being bitten by Hubert or biting him in return. It was exciting to think about, even though the familiar feelings of shame threatened. He was allowed to plan for his wedding night, after all. This was research.

“Okay so go try some of that stuff out on your own and come see me again in a few nights. I'll get a better prop so that I can show you some good sucking techniques and answer any questions that you might have thought of. And do try to figure out what Hubert expects; it's a lot easier than guessing.”

Ferdinand stood up, eager to leave and yet curious to know what else Sylvain knew. And how to get the secret of which young man he had been with, out of him.

“See you later,” Sylvain said as Ferdinand left.

“Yes, see you on the morrow. Good night Sylvain. And thank you,” Ferdinand murmured as he gave a small bow.

\---------------------------------------------

The wedding was a blur for Hubert. It had been a long time coming and yet it happened so fast that he could barely believe that the ceremonial dinner was almost at an end. He remembered Ferdinand's perfect recitation of their vows, yet he could barely remember speaking his own, or whether he had tripped over the words. He knew everything that transpired but he wasn't sure that he was over the shock. He was married. To Ferdinand. A man that he had admired and despised in equal measure over the past year; a man he was surprised to hold in his rarest affections. A man who had also been increasingly nervous about their wedding night.

Ferdinand had asked Hubert a lot of personal questions, many of which Hubert had no answers to. Had Hubert ever been in a relationship before? Had he ever had intercourse? Both were a no, but he simply didn't see why any of that mattered. When Ferdinand had proceeded to ask him 'what sort of things he was into', Hubert wasn't sure if it was in regards to sex or simply a subject change; either way it wasn't the sort of thing he wanted to talk about where he might be overheard. After that discussion, Ferdinand hadn't brought it up again.

Hubert couldn't help but notice Ferdinand's furtive glances towards the hallway, increasingly eager and doubtful. At the same time, he kept speaking with whichever guest wanted his attention. Hubert merely watched, having received one too many lectures about being rude to his now-husband's friends. He continued watching until Dorothea waltzed up and stole the guest away from the conversation that he had been having with Ferdinand. Faster than expected, Ferdinand darted over to where Hubert stood, observing a celebration that was to honour their marriage instead of taking part in it.

“You look about ready to withdraw,” Ferdinand half-asked, half-observed.

“If that is what you wish,” he replied coolly.

“I... I am ready for some privacy. It's been a long day.” Hubert winced at the suddenly uncertain look on his husband's face. He had been trying to change how he spoke, to sound a bit gentler, but it obviously wasn't working.

“Alright. Let's go then,” Hubert replied as he extended his arm politely. Ferdinand took it and seemed surprised when Hubert started walking away from the grand hall.

“Shouldn't we say good night to our guests?”

“We probably should. But we won't. I get the impression that you do not wish to linger further.”

“I suppose that our guests would forgive us, just this once. Our eagerness is understandable, after all,” Ferdinand agreed.

 _My eagerness perhaps_ , Hubert thought as he nodded in response. _Not yours; I'm well aware of how I am perceived._

As they walked through the familiar hallways, Hubert tried to ignore Ferdinand's nerves. One of them had to remain composed. That whole thing about nerves being catching was nonsense after all. To Hubert's surprise, Ferdinand turned them towards his room. Hubert knew that his own rooms were impossible to spy upon; he had seen to the fact himself. Having spied on Ferdinand for strictly political reasons a handful of times himself, Hubert knew the places outside of his husband's quarters where sound carried or a glimpse inside could be easily observed. Either Ferdinand was unaware of these things or he wanted to be overheard. If so, it was oddly appealing.

Ferdinand let them into his rooms and locked the doors behind them. Edelgard had done away with that dreadful tradition of having close friends or family members observe the consummation, for which Hubert was relieved. It seemed that Ferdinand was of a similar mind and taking precautions to avoid his family members from observing anyways. He took Hubert's hand and walked them through his sitting room, past the door to his office and into his bedroom.

The room was lowly lit by lanterns that Ferdinand had likely asked one of the servants to ready for them. The bed was pushed against the far wall with tastefully carved side tables that Hubert catalogued as a matter of habit. There was a bench, bookshelves and two ornately gilded doors on one wall and open windows with curtains stirring in the breeze on the opposite wall. The doors likely led to a bathroom and a large closet. Hubert's focus was taken up by the bed; the posts were carved in the likeness of vines creeping up trees, leading to a deep blue satin canopy. The satin-covered duvet was a deep blue as well, with gold embroidered suns decorating it. The duvet was pulled back to reveal deep red silk sheets that were meant to look as sensual as they were soft.

He turned and Ferdinand was on him, a flurry of clumsy limbs pulling him close and lips connecting with his. Hubert steadied himself and kissed back, hands on Ferdinand's hips as he felt his husband push ever closer to him. When he pulled away for air, he thought that he saw a hint of disappointment on the redhead's face.

“What's wrong?”

“I just... I've waited so long for this but you seem hesitant. Am I a bad kisser?” Ferdinand asked quietly.

“This is new for me as well. You are perhaps, a bit over-eager but you do not seem to be bad at this. Just hold back a little. Please,” Hubert awkwardly explained. He may have read every book that the church did not approve of that he could get his hands on, but Hubert was still unprepared for the emotional aspect of their relationship. The feelings that Ferdinand's lips and hands alone caused him were nigh overwhelming.

He leaned in to gently kiss Ferdinand and was delighted by Ferdinand's slow kissing, his hands sliding down Hubert's chest and into his jacket, leaving fire in their wake. In contrast, Hubert's hands move slowly, memorizing the feel of Ferdinand's hips, his sides, his shoulders. It's enough to encourage his husband, who shrugs out of his wedding jacket and lets it fall to the floor. Hubert gently runs a hand through Ferdinand's hair while his husband is undoing the buttons on his jacket and shirt so quickly that two pop off and land on the floor before rolling away.

Ferdinand tugs at Hubert's clothes, trying to remove Hubert's shirt and jacket faster than Hubert can follow. He pulls away to remove the garments himself and Ferdinand eagerly works at the buttons of his own silk dress shirt. He then moves to the bed and kicks aside his ankle boots, while Hubert slowly removes the knee high boots that are sure to frustrate his husband if he doesn't remove them soon.

“I love you,” Ferdinand breathes as Hubert tosses his boots out of the way. He comes to stand before the red head, who is leaning on his elbows, his legs dangling off of the bed in front of him. There is a flush to his fair skin that Hubert savours.

“I love you too,” Hubert admits quietly, perhaps too quietly as he moves closer. Ferdinand sat up and began to kiss Hubert up his torso, which tickles a bit around his stomach. As he stifled his laughter, he leaned over, kissing Ferdinand with as much passion and skill as he can muster. Ferdinand's hands immediately begin to wander again and Hubert briefly considers tying them to one of the gilded bed posts to keep them from distracting him.

“Don't get ahead of yourself,” he murmurs as Ferdinand's hands pause just a little too long at the buttons on Hubert's pants.

“I really want this,” Ferdinand almost whines. “I just want you. I want to be good for you.”

“And you are,” Hubert murmurs in return. “Be patient, pet.”

Ferdinand pouted briefly before deciding to pull Hubert down on top of him instead. Feeling Ferdinand's arousal between them is almost too much for Hubert. He had never viewed himself as a subject of someone else's desire before, yet clearly Ferdinand was in want of him. He kissed down Ferdinand's neck and shoulders, nipping curiously at the softer spots and was rewarded by breathy moans.

When Ferdinand's hands finally lose patience, they quickly find their way to Hubert's trousers and make quick work of the buttons and pulling them off. Hubert awkwardly kicks them off of his ankles from his position above Ferdinand, while the latter squirmed his way out of his own remaining garments. It takes a moment for Hubert to look away from Ferdinand's erection and back to his husband's nervously excited face.

Hubert knew from books that the church would have gravely disapproved of, how to proceed, what went where and in what order, but he wasn't sure what he wanted. Did he want Ferdinand to have him, or the other way around? Were both ways necessary to consider the marriage consummated, given their equipment?

“Oh before we forget,” Ferdinand said suddenly. He lightly pushes Hubert away and despite his own growing need, he obliged. Ferdinand rummaged through the drawer of his side table and produced a small vial of oil. “Sylvain said this would be helpful.”

“Sylvain?” Hubert is taken aback at hearing the infamous nymphomaniac's name _during their wedding night._

“I uh, asked him for advice. So that I could please you properly. I didn't want to fail at this,” Ferdinand explained quickly as he situated himself back into position beneath Hubert. “I never did anything with him. Just asked questions.”

Hubert blinked in surprise and nodded despite his confusion. Is this what they talked about when they went on their morning rides with Lorenz?! He forced himself to focus. They were there, together and no one else from the academy mattered in that moment.

Before Hubert can ask how to proceed, Ferdinand is stroking oil into Hubert's cock, his hand slippery yet still a bit rough. He could no longer think, let alone form words. He allowed Ferdinand to awkwardly lead the way, thrusting into his touch. His husband removes his hand only long enough to apply more oil. He kisses Hubert hungrily and gently takes both of their erections in hand, pressing them together and ministering eager strokes.

It isn't long before Hubert can feel his arms and legs trembling from a combination of exertion and need. Despite the awkward start, Ferdinand's large hands feel amazing now, rhythmically bringing Hubert closer to completion.

“Fe-ferdinand,” he moans brokenly between kisses. He finds himself saying his husband's name over and over, like a plea or perhaps a prayer.

“I love you, Hubert,” Ferdinand pants in response, over and over again like a refrain from a favourite song. “I-I'm close,” he moaned. “Please, Hubert. Please.”

The sounds of Ferdinand begging for him are more than enough to send Hubert over the edge. A sudden jolt from beneath him is the only warning that he receives as Ferdinand's orgasm tears through him. Ferdinand's hands are all over Hubert again as they grind against one another, chasing their pleasure as they reach completion.

Hubert collapsed onto Ferdinand, his shaking arms giving out as the absolute bliss overtakes him. Ferdinand winces slightly at the sudden weight but gathers Hubert close to him. Both choose to ignore the mess between them for the moment and simply enjoy the peace of being in one anothers' arms.


End file.
